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A woman goes into a supermarket and puts a small loaf of bread in her basket, one pint of milk, two apples and two oranges.
She then proceeds to the checkout where the guy at the counter says, "you're single aren't you?"

And she says" Thats amazing, I suppose you can tell that from the contents of my basket?"

And he replies " No, you're an ugly cow".

A man walks down the street after quite a few pints. As he passes a large bush he hears a "pppssssshhtttt.... only £20"

He thinks to himself, " I never had a prostitute. £20 isn't bad. After 10 minutes pass, they are at in the bushes and a spot light appears, its the local policeman. "what are you doing?" says the policeman.

"Making love to my wife" says the man.

"Sorry sir. I didn't know" says the policeman.

And the man said "No, nor did I until you turn the torch on."

LMAO! I like the second one!

Very good mate

lol - class

lol second one is funny.

I love the second one also

great stuff, krafty!