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Welcome to the highest quality Custom DVD, Blu-ray and Ultra-HD 4k cover art, available anywhere in the world. Please register, or log in, to browse our site. • Almost 200,000 300 dpi high quality images • Moderated uploads, to ensure the highest quality possible. • A forum for artwork requests, help designing cover art and much more • If you cannot find the movie you need, simply create a request for it to be created and uploaded to the gallery. • A section of Design Assets, including templates, logos and fonts. |
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Qantas Maintenance Report, Very funny
 Jun 1 2007, 10:58 AM
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#1
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  Group: Root Admin Posts: 22,891 Coverart: 1,634 Thanks: 52571 From: Home Joined: May 3 2006 My Favorite Cover Designer: All HiRes designers  |
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe
sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, then the pilots review the gripe sheets right before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some of the actual maintenance complaints submitted by the Qantas' pilots (as marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (as marked with an S) by the maintenance engineers. By the way, it is relevant to note that Qantas is the only major airline in the world that has never, ever, had an accident! P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in the cockpit. S: Something tightened in the cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on backorder. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of a leak on the right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume reset to a more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what friction locks are for. P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: The number 3 engine is missing. S: Engine found on right wing after a brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!) S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. And the best one saved for last...... P: Noise coming from under the instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from the midget.      |
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Jun 1 2007, 12:04 PM
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#2
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  Group: Members Posts: 1,558 Coverart: 144 Thanks: 4 From: State of Awsome Joined: May 20 2006 |
QUOTE(Bazzah @ Jun 1 2007, 12:58 PM) [snapback]42781[/snapback] P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!) S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious. Hahaha! Priceless, great post m8 
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Jun 1 2007, 12:19 PM
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#3
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 Group: Members Posts: 2,423 Coverart: 377 Thanks: 0 From: England Joined: May 13 2006 |
Really good lol
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Jun 1 2007, 02:55 PM
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#4
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  Group: Contributor Posts: 4,305 Coverart: 178 Thanks: 18 From: 51.5000° N, 0.1167° W Joined: May 13 2006 My Favorite Custom Cover: Platoon by Ivan Urikov My Favorite Cover Designer: Ivan Urikov |
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Jun 1 2007, 08:03 PM
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#5
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 Group: Members Posts: 3,662 Coverart: 902 Thanks: 0 From: Osijek, Croatia Joined: May 13 2006 |
"Once you have flown, you will walk the earth with
your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, there you long to return." Leonardo da Vinci |
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Jun 1 2007, 08:08 PM
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#6
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 Group: Members Posts: 1,694 Coverart: 165 Thanks: 9 From: Earth Joined: May 14 2006 My Favorite Custom Cover: Stargate - The Movie by Powers My Favorite Cover Designer: Scaramanga |
That was gold
My covers may only be viewed on well calibrated screens and printed on well calibrated printers.
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Jun 2 2007, 02:05 AM
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#7
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 Group: Members Posts: 1,396 Coverart: 131 Thanks: 251 From: USA Joined: May 13 2006 My Favorite Custom Cover: Kernies Collection My Favorite Cover Designer: Kernie |
That was awesome. I am almost crying right now, I was laughing so hard.....
Thanks Bazz But what do I know?
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Jun 9 2007, 01:09 PM
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#8
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 Group: Members Posts: 4,894 Coverart: 7 Thanks: 0 From: Almost Paradise Joined: May 13 2006 My Favorite Custom Cover: Miss Potter by Venome My Favorite Cover Designer: To many to choose from |
Oh yeah good one we only have two airlines in Australia and Qantas is the only one i will fly for domestic flight does this mean i have to drive next time
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