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Guest_lulubelle_*
post Oct 9 2006, 09:40 AM
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Why Women Are Crabby


We started to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs.

Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.

Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.

Then it was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby.

Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER.

Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more good push (more like 10)," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the %*#!* (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10 lb. bowling ball through a keyhole.

After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.

Then come their "Teen Years." Need I say more?

When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.

So we progress into the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.

Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men, when men get off so easy, INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks...

So, while I love being a woman, "Womanhood" would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. Women are the "weaker sex?" Yeah right. Bite me.
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phil6580
post Oct 9 2006, 09:58 AM
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Hey lulubelle after reading that i dont see your point. (IMG:http://www.hirescovers.net/forum/style_emoticons/default/8824.gif)

Just kidding. Us blokes drew the longer straw in everything my hat goes off to every woman everywhere. (IMG:http://www.hirescovers.net/forum/style_emoticons/default/8834.gif)
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annarere1960
post Oct 9 2006, 11:59 AM
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that was really cute... (IMG:http://www.hirescovers.net/forum/style_emoticons/default/8824.gif)


IPB
You cannot be very smart if you have never done anything foolish.
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chefjoe
post Oct 9 2006, 12:49 PM
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My Favorite Custom Cover:
Kernie's Comic Set WOW!

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umi & nini



weaker sex, no way we have to live with it! All true. (IMG:http://www.hirescovers.net/forum/style_emoticons/default/lol.gif)
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Guest_lulubelle_*
post Oct 9 2006, 04:17 PM
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yes but we have got to put up with all that and you lot!
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*Krafty*
post Oct 9 2006, 05:19 PM
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QUOTE(lulubelle @ Oct 9 2006, 10:40 AM) [snapback]29234[/snapback]
walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.



I resemble that!! (IMG:http://www.hirescovers.net/forum/style_emoticons/default/8824.gif)

Now thats why, my mother was always hitting me!! (IMG:http://www.hirescovers.net/forum/style_emoticons/default/chin.gif)


IPB
It has been a long time. Still two years to go.
Have been away a long time and still time to do.....
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JolietJake
post Oct 9 2006, 06:27 PM
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Breast cancer may suck but atleast it dosen't require getting roto rootered to remove it. I read somewhere that by the time most men die we all have atleast some ammount of prostate cancer.
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Guest_lulubelle_*
post Oct 9 2006, 06:35 PM
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cancer no matter where it is is not good.
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JolietJake
post Oct 10 2006, 12:11 AM
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Yes it is,luckily i don't know of anyone in my family who has ever had it.

And just to get the thread back into a laughing mood...

Why men are so crabby....

The women in their lives probably are crabby at the moment. (IMG:http://www.hirescovers.net/forum/style_emoticons/default/8824.gif)
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